DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE.

SERIES: GIVE YOUR BEST TO THE MASTER

TEXT: MALACHI 2:10-16.

God hates divorce, but He does not hate the divorcee.

Divorce disqualifies people from ministry of the pastor and deacon.

In this story we will answer some questions like-

1. Can a divorced person remarry in the eyes of God?
2. Should a woman leave her unfaithful, unbelieving husband?
3. What about abandonment, abuse and physical danger?
4. What are the Biblical guidelines for divorce and remarrying?
5. What are the implications of divorce to the church, the body of Christ?

Anytime divorce is mentioned, it is counted to be controversial and emotional. This is one reason why many preachers don’t touch this area of the scripture. Divorce writes its misery on the partners, children, the church and the society.

Divorce has its own fruits including guilt, emptiness, loneliness, frustrations, rebellious children, identity crisis and bitterness.

Today, let us look at what the Bible says about divorce and remarriage-Malachi 2:10-16.

In Malachi’s day, the men of Israel were divorcing their fellow Israelite women to marry foreign women. These foreign women were called “fillies” or “daughters of a foreign god”-Vs. 11.

Paul the apostle in 2nd Cor. 6:14-16 would call this unequally yoked. This had nothing to do with black/white/Latin/ Asian/Arab but with lost/saved. 

God made men and women for each other. He established marriage for the good of human family.

What Israel was doing was contrary to what God wrote in the nature of His covenant. As a result of their disposable view of marriage, God said these men were “cut off from the tents of Jacob”-Malachi 2:12. They got excommunicated from the rest of the assembly. They were still going to church and giving their offerings, but they were not happy-Malachi 2:13, but did not accept or give blessing to their sin.

God desired that Jews marry only Jews, they were the channel through which the Messiah, the Savior was to come.

By marrying pagan brides, they would bring kids who are confused and loving YHWH.

Malachi reminds them that marriage is a triangle-Husband, wife and God-Mal. 2:14.

The Jewish men in Malachi’s day had broken their vows to God and to their wives.

Just like it is today in the church, they were treating their vows as if they meant nothing. Let us learn:-

THE OLD TESTAMENT’S VIEW OF DIVORCE.

• God’s ideal for marriage is a life-long bond between a husband and a wife-One-flesh-Matt. 19:5.
• Matt. 19:5, “and said, for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh.”
• Marriage is God’s idea that is not to be dissolved at the will of man.
• Separating what God has established does at least two things:-

1. Displeases God.
2. Threatens the social order-Mal. 2:15-16.

• Strong families begin with strong marriages.
• A man and a woman who love one another and are committed to live with each other and both live for God.
• Anything less than that is less than God’s will.

Moses in Deut. 24:1-4 allowed divorce if the wife became “indecent” or “no favor.”

• Indecent or lack of favor adultery and sexually immoral.
• Indecent also meant any reason whatsoever, from infertility to bad cooking.
• Moses prohibited a man remarrying his ex-wife after she had married another man.
• The law tried to discourage divorce, not to encourage it.
• Divorce was done publicly through a certificate of divorce so she could remarry without civil/religious sanctions.
• In the Old Testament the man was allowed to divorce his wife yet the wife was not allowed to divorce her husband for any reason.
• Legally, the wife was bound to her husband as long as they both lived or until he divorced her-1st Cor. 9:39.
• If a woman was found guilty or adulterer she would be stoned to death and if a man thought his wife was not a virgin on their wedding night and could prove it-she was stoned to death-Deut. 22:13-21.

THE NEW TESTAMENT’S VIEW OF DIVORCE.

• In Jesus’ day, people were very confused about marriage, divorce and remarriage.
• There were two major schools of rabbinical teachings; Rabbi Shammai and Rabbi Hillel.

1. Shammai.

• He taught that only adultery was acceptable grounds for divorce (Jesus Christ took this view).

1. Hillel.

• He taught that there were many reasons including such this as cooking.
• This was the confusion Jesus encountered on the issue of divorce and remarriage during His ministry on earth.
• There were Pharisees who divorced their wives for reasons other than adultery and without giving them “certificates of divorce.”
• Although seldomly done adulteresses and adulterers were subject to stoning-John 8:4-11.
• The Messiah defended and forgave her!!
• Jesus Christ teaching in the case of marriage divorce and remarriage struck out against male oppression in their relationship with women-Matt. 5:27-32.

Jesus Christ declared “Lust” to be adultery.

• In our day would a person who has lasted in his/her heart be permanently disqualified from church service?
• In verse 31, The man putting his wife away has already got his eyes on another woman.
• In verse 32, “causeth her to commit adultery” means “makes her commit adultery.”
• Jesus Christ again came to the defense of women, for they were stigmatized though no fault of their own.
• Today the church plays the role of the Pharisees by condemning the innocent party.
• Adultery can be forgiven, it is not the unpardonable sin.
• Without doubt no person reading Vs. 28 could plead innocent in the face of Jesus interpretation.

SEXUAL UNFAITHFULNESS; A GROUND FOR DIVORCE.

• Jesus faced the Pharisees who desired to justify their actions against their wives-Matt. 19:3-9.

1. Jesus Christ affirmed God’s idea for marriage.

• God created these man and woman to form a union.
• The sexual union between a man and a woman was considered the consummation of marriage-1st Cor. 6:15-20.
• Sexual unfaithfulness is viewed by the Bible and by God as a type of marriage.
• Adultery and fornication is a mockery of what God intended intimacy to be.

1. Jesus Christ rebuked the Pharisees for hardness of their hearts-Matt. 19:8.

• Always be careful of people with strong convictions but lack compassion-They are hiding something.
• God’s displeasure at the people’s callous attitudes are obvious.

1. Jesus Christ gives a valid reason for divorce-Matt. 19:9.

• The bitter truth is that God hates divorce, He does not hate the divorcee.
• The bitter truth is that there wasn’t a valid reason for divorce in the first place. Because adultery and fornication can still be forgiven if there is true repentance.
• If your spouse was unfaithful, you can divorce and remarry.
• The bitter truth is that if your spouse has cheated on you, you remarry, that marriage is not considered adulterous.
• Adultery though does not mean divorce is automatically pursued because forgiveness and restoration are possible and should be considered before any divorce.
• In cases where a life-threatening lifestyle and perversion are evident, divorce is not out of order.

THE GOOSE AND THE GANDER-Mark 10:11-12.

• Mark 10:11-12 tells us that the Biblical principles concerning marriage, divorce and remarriage apply equally to men and women.
• Luke 16:14-18 we see the Pharisees own confusion towards divorce.
• The adultery exception is not mentioned here as it was mentioned in Matthew 19:1 but it is implied.
• There are three words that are notable in the original Greek.

1. Vs. 18-“Divorce,” “putteth away”-This means one who is repeatedly putting away a wife, divorce again, again and again

• There are men and women who are ever divorcing!!

1. Vs. 18-“another” means another of a different kind; another woman other than his wife catches his eye.

• His wife is innocent, yet she and her future husband will be stigmatized as adulterer because of the hardness of her adulterer husband.
• The principle: men and women who habitually break marital vows with infidelity are seen as destroyers of God’s ideal.
• The reason why Jesus allowed divorce to happen is that a person dissolves his/her marriage by creating sexual union with someone other than their marriage partner.
• In Genesis 2, God gave Adam only one wife not many, and declared that the two were one flesh (sacred oneness), Gen. 2:21-25.
• Infidelity, adultery and divorce violently pulls apart what God had “sewn” together-Mal. 2:16.
• Today when we get married we put on our spouse’s fingers a ring. In ancient Israel they would put the corner of the garment over their spouse-Ezekiel 16:8; Ruth 3:9.
• If a man divorced his wife, the garment meant to symbolize love turned to violence-it tore apart that which God intended to stay together in the sacred “oneness.”
• When a marriage partner is sexually unfaithful the divorce reflects the fact that the marriage is already broken.
• Divorce on the grounds of adultery usually frees the innocent partner to remarry without incurring the guilt to adultery-Matt. 19:9.
• Although Jesus Christ allowed divorce for adultery, He did not require it.
• Jesus insisted that divorce disrupts God’s plan for marriage and left the way open for repentance and forgiveness.
• God’s plan for marriage is one man, one woman, for one lifetime.
• Is it legal to divorce your spouse for whatever reason you want? Yes (Kenya). Is it Biblical to do so? No.
• Divorce for any other reason other than those given in scripture, although legal, grieves the heart of God.

CONCLUSION

• God clearly wants marriage to be one man, one woman, becoming one flesh and God being a partner in that union-(marriage is a triangle).
• Marriage is a physical union “one flesh” and can be broken for physical causes.

1. Death-Romans 7:1-3.
2. Sexual sin-Matt. 19:9.
3. Desertion-1st Cor. 7:12-16.

• Adultery rips the fabric of the sacred oneness violently apart.
• God hates divorce, but loves the divorcee.