HOW CONFLICTS DEVELOP

GENESIS 16:1-16

INTRODUCTION

Conflicts are things which have a life of their own. They develop from small to big disagreements depending on the actors involved. In the conflict before us, we have three actors Abraham, Sarah and Hagar. In conflicts people get hurt, some of them get permanent wounds. Conflicts affect those involved and those a far off into future generations. God’s people can sink into amazing depths of conflicts. Here is Abram a man who is following God by faith. He left his own country and people. He has trusted God through battles and trials. For all his faith Abram is still human with real human problems; the flesh, the world and devil are constant allurements. The decisions we make in life have far-reaching consequences and are causes of conflicts. Let us look at this conflict and how to handle conflicts biblically with God’s help:-

I.  THE REASONS FOR THE CONFLICT (Gen 16:1-4)

• While the reasons for this conflict are many, there are three main ones.

1. Abram And Sarai Were Seeking And Desiring Acceptance

• In many societies, it is considered a disgrace for a couple to be childless
• People marry for many reasons which include companionship and production of children
• In the days of Abram and Sarah, if a couple had no children, they are mocked, looked down upon and were not accepted in society.
• Abram’s society also believed in multiple marriages
• God’s children are guilty of lowering their spiritual standards to those of people around them in order to fit in better.
• It is always better to please God rather than man (2 Cor. 6:17)

1. Abram And Sarai Carried Unnecessary Baggage

• Hagar was an Egyptian, Abram brought her back with him from the sinful journey into Egypt (Gen 12:10-20)
• We always reap what we sow. you never go into sin and come out clean. You never sin alone.
• There is nothing like private sin, all sin involved other people. (Gal. 6:7-8)

1. Abram And Sarah Doubted God’s Promise (Gen 15:1-6)

• They, Abram and Sarah decided that God needed help in fulfilling His promise.
• Doubting God’s word and promises accounts for most of our troubles in this world.
• God always keeps His promise (Heb. 6:18, Rom 4:21, Psalms 119:89)
• God is a God of order and he doesn’t run on our time and schedule. God works “in the fullness of time” (Gal 4:4)
• God does not need our help to accomplish His will (Psa. 50:12)

II.  THE REACTIONS TO THE CONFLICT (Gen 16:4-9)

• The three actors in the conflict reacted differently and badly.
• There are three ways we primarily react to conflicts and problems.

1. Abram reacted by being unaccountable (v. 6)

• Many men act like Abram. He tried to pretend that there was no problem, and if there is a problem it was Sarai’s
• Abram totally ignored his responsibility in the whole situation
• Many men simply ignore problems. Problems when left unsettled though small, they grow bigger one in a short time.
• In 2 Sam 13:1-39, David ignored the problem of Amnon and Tamar and the problem grew until Absalom took matters into his own hands and killed Amnon his brother.
• Problems, whether at home, job, community, school or church must be confronted and dealt with.

1. Sarai reacted by being unreasonable (v. 5)

• Many women over-react to conflicts and problems and are unreasonably drastic
• Sahar was miserable because of the pride of Hagar. She tried to make everybody else miserable too.
• When mama is not happy, the whole family is made unhappy.
• She blamed Abram and Hagar for the problem and even dragged God into the conflict.
• There are many who approach life the same way, they become mean, short-tempered and hard to get along with

1. Hagar reached by being unavailable (v. 6-9)

• Hagar decided that the answer to her problems was to run away. Just like some girls do.
• She packed up and left to get away from the problem.
• When there is a problem at home or church some just leave. If at the job, they leave to find a new church or a new job, or a new wife, husband or new parents!!
• But, God sent Hagar back to Sarai (16:9)
• God wanted Abram to face the problem, Sarah to deal with it and Hagar to live in it.
• God is not in the business of making you happy but making you holy. One way of living a holy life is to face your problem.

III.  THE RESULTS OF THE CONFLICT (GEN 16:10-16)

• Proverbs 13:15, Numbers 32:23 – sin brings with it a lot of trouble and trial

1. A Difficult Son Was Born

• Ishmael is called a “wild man” many parents are really determined to bring up their “wild children” through lack of standards & discipline.
• Ishmael was going to be a very difficult person to handle, aggressive toward others, including wife.
• Today the religion of Ishmael (Islam) is difficult and aggressive toward women and other neighbours.
• Sin creates its own clubs and society (Gal 6:7-8)

1. Dysfunctional Family Was Burdened (21:9-11)

• As Ishmael grew up, tensions grew in the family
• The home was full of heartache and trouble
• Deal with sin by bringing it into the light. Sin cannot survive light (Pro. 28:13)

1. A Divine Plan Was Negatively Affected (10-12)

• The conflict between Arabs and Jews was born this day
• Other nations of the world have been dragged into the conflict.

CONCLUSION

• While we live and walk in this world, there will be sin and times when we react badly to the trials and problems of life.
• Let us bring our problem and conflict to the altar, Cross
• There is forgiveness and help – Let God have His way today.