THE VALUE OF FRIENDS

SERIES: UNDER THE SUN.

TEXT: ECCLESIASTES 4:9-12.

“The neighborhood bar (lounge) is possibly the best counterfeit that there is to the fellowship Christ wants us to give his church. It is an imitation that dispenses liquor instead of grace, escape rather than reality. The bar is a permissive, accepting and inclusive fellowship. The bar is democratic, you can tell people your secrets and they usually don’t tell others or even want to. The bar or the lounge flourishes and grows not because most people are alcoholics, but God has put into the human heart the desire to know and be known, to love and be loved and so many seek a counterfeit at the price of a few beers”-(Charles Swindoll).

Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name and you are unconditionally accepted. The bar does this better than the church!! In Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, the preacher is talking about the value of friendship.

When we read these words of King Solomon we often think of marriage. It is true the words can apply to marriage and we will have a message on marriage based on this passage, but the preacher wanted a wider application. This passage is for people who are humans on this lonely earth who are wondering how to survive in our dog-eat-dog culture. The late president Julius Nyerere of Tanzania said of Kenya that we are a dog-eat-dog culture. He was not far from the truth about Kenyans!!

The writer of Ecclesiastes wants us to understand that friendship is a good investment-Vs. 9, “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor.” “Good reward” in this context means “Good return,” it means the dividends paid on a wise investment. The very best investment you will ever make in life will not be a financial one, but rather the investment made in relationships.

We will get the best return on that investment over other investment that we will ever make.

As we go through life, there are two kinds of things we can give our lives to.

1. Some people try to accumulate possessions. They are trying to constantly get more or better stuff.

• The late Malcolm Forbes said “He who dies with most toys wins.”
• However, since he dead, he knows that not to be true.
• If we try to accumulate more and better materials, we will never truly be happy and fulfilled.

2. On the other hand, we can decide to focus on building relationships, trying to make friends and to be a friend-Prov. 18:24.

• “A man who has friends must himself be friendly.”

Today let us see four characteristics of a real friend.

A REAL FRIEND HELPS YOU WHEN YOU ARE DOWN-Eccl. 4:10.

“For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up.”

• You may have very many people in your life whom you call acquaintances, but very few that you could term “real friends.”
• You are successful in life if you have enough close friends to act as pall bearers at your funeral!!-Mark 2:1-5.
• These four men were real friends to the paralyzed man-real friends helps you when you are down!!
• You may ask, how can I tell the difference between acquaintances and friends?
• It is very easy, just get into trouble, the people that are still around are your real friends and there may not be as many left as you would have thought.
• A friend is the kind of a person if you call them at 2:00 am, in the ungodly hours of night and tell them that you need them.
• They don’t simply ask “where are you?” as they are getting dressed.
• That is a real friend-how many people do you have like that in your life?
• Proverbs 17:17, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”
• A real friend helps you when you are down.

A REAL FRIEND IS SOMEONE WHO PROVIDES EMOTIONAL OR PHYSICAL WARMTH IN A COLD, CRUEL WORLD-VS. 11.

“Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; but how can one be warm alone?”

• The big idea of this passage is not just physical warmth.
• We need help to face circumstances beyond our control, we need to be able to gain emotional strength when we do not have enough of our own.
• Sometimes it is very cold out there in the world.
• There are circumstances where we are facing a battle of “How am I going to make it through this right now?”
• That is the time we need a friend to give us emotional strength.
• The reality of life is that we encounter a lot of people of life who when you spend time with them they drain you out.
• There are four types of people when it comes to relationships.

1. Very Draining People-VDP.
2. Very Needy People-VNP.
3. Very Potential People-VPP.
4. Very Important People-VIP.

• There are two kinds of people in the world.

1. Encouragers.
2. Discouragers.

• Many people who are discouragers don’t know that they are discouragers!!
• If every word in your mouth is setting someone straight or telling them how they can improve themselves or their performance you probably have a problem.
• Encourage people today, build them up, no one is absolutely useless.

A REAL FRIEND IS SOMEONE WHO WILL FIGHT TO PROTECT YOU OR YOUR REPUTATION-Eccl. 4:12.

“Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him.”

• When these words were written based on the military strategy of the ancient world, almost all combat was hand to hand combat.
• Soldiers went into battle with a partner, someone that could be counted and trusted implictedly.
• The soldier stood back to back of one another and they always keep their backs in contact and fought whatever enemy came from every side.
• Friends not only never stab in the back, they guard you back.
• A friend never puts with gossip about their friends.
• “Gossip is when someone says something negative or unkind about someone who is not present, whether it is true or not.”

A REAL FRIEND IS COMMITTED TO HELPING YOU GROW SPIRITUALLY-Prov. 27:17.

“As iron sharpens iron, a friend sharpens a friend.”

• The greatest gift you can give someone is an invitation to a relationship with God.
• A real friend will invite their friend to a real relationship with Jesus Christ.
• A personal relationship with God, forgiveness for your sin and a place in heaven forever.
• If you have not yet accepted Christ personally into your life, I really want to invite you to do so in just a moment.
• Proverbs 18:24,”….there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

1. Jesus Christ deserves to be your best friend because He already knows you better than anybody else.

• A true friend is a person who knows all about us and loves us anyway.
• No one fulfills that qualification as Jesus Christ does.

2. Jesus Christ deserves to be your best friend because he had done for you more than anybody else-John 15:13.

• “Greater love has no none than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friend.”
• Love is measured by what it has given.

3. Jesus Christ deserves to be your best friend because He will always be there when you need Him, “What a friend we have in Jesus.”

CONCLUSION

• For those who cannot honestly say that you have experienced a vital relationship with Jesus Christ, I want to introduce you to Him today.
• Jesus Christ is the best friend ever-He knows your past, your present and your future and He still loves you.
• He paid the debt of your sin on the cross. He will never leave nor forsake you, let Him be your best friend.