English Service by Rev, DR. Willy Mutiso

THE DANGERS OF PEOPLE-PLEASING.

SERIES: GALATIANS: BE FREE.

TEXT: GALATIANS 1:10-12.

 

When Paul wrote the book of Galatian’s he was still a new-comer to Christianity. The real Jewish Christian V.I.Ps were in the church in Jerusalem. It is said, “When you are on an upward career path, human wisdom says you must try to impress the VIPs, the “big boys.” You should go along to get along. But not Paul. Here’s what he had to say about changing his message to impress others-Gal. 1:10-12, “Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ. I want you to know, brothers that the gospel I preached is not something that men made up. I did not receive it from any man, nor was I taught it, rather I received it by revelation from Jesus Christ.”

Most people spend their lives trying to please others, but Paul challenges us to take the road less travelled and live our lives to please God. That is a pretty important matter to settle in your own life.

Are you living to please others or to serve God? In this message let us talk about the dangers of people-Pleasing and the blessings we receive when we live to please God. Let us learn:-

THE DISEASE OF PEOPLE-PLEASING OR APPROVAL ADDICTION.

  • Everyone wants to be liked.
  • When actress Sally Field won her second Oscar Award for her role in the 1984 move, “Places in the Heart,” she gave a very memorable acceptable speech.
  • She said, “I haven’t had an orthodox career and I have wanted more than anything to have your respect. The first time I did not feel it, but this time I feel it and I can’t deny the fact that you like me, right now, you like me!!”
  • Many of us, just like Sally Field think we are good people only if other people think we are good people.
  • Wanting to be liked is a natural feeling.
  • From the time we were children, we craved a pat on the head, or a pat on the back.
  • We lived to hear someone say, “Good boy” or “Good girl.”
  • We all have a natural appetite for people to like us and accept us. But an addiction is when a normal appetite is corrupted and it starts controlling you.
  • For example, we have a natural appetite for food, but some people crave food to the point that eating starts controlling them. They have an eating addiction (glutton).
  • “Approval addiction” and its cousin “Co-dependency” are recognized as real issue in the mental health field.
  • An addiction is something that controls people-It is something they feel they cannot live without or something they feel driven to do in order to relive pressure, pain or discomfort of some kind.
  • Someone addicted to drugs, for instance, will do whatever he needs to in order to get another “Fix” when he begins to feel uncomfortable.
  •  Approval addiction is much the same, but instead of running to drugs to heal the hurt, those who suffer approval addiction go to seek people’s approval.
  • When they feel unsure and shaky about themselves, they look for a “fix.” They seek for someone to reassure them that all is right and they are acceptable.
  • Being overly dependent on approval from others and fearing their disapproval, comes from the belief that “others are responsible for our worth.”
  • What are some of the symptoms of approval addiction?”
  • If you answer “yes” to at least two of these three questions, you might be an “Approval Addict.”

I take criticism personally.

  • A people-pleaser will go to great lengths to avoid conflict or criticism.
  • To an approval addict, the term “Constructive criticism” is the greatest oxymoron.
  • In life there are always going to be critics. Bill Bight-used to say “Never count your critics, but always listen to them.”
  • If you allow the arrows of criticism to wound you, you will never become a person God wants you to be.
  • Remember the story of the old man, his young grandson and a donkey!!
  • If you listen to every critic you will never reach your goal.

I have a fear of rejection.

  • A people-pleaser will do everything to avoid rejection.
  • A people-pleaser always feels like he/she is in front of a panel of judges.
  • Their life is one long episode of the “American Idol” or the “African big brother.” They are singing and dancing away hoping to get a “thumbs up” rather than “thumbs down.”
  • Their judges and not Randy, Stephen or J-10, but their friends, family and usually people who don’t even know them.
  • Living according to the false belief that I must be approved by certain people to feel good about myself causes fear of rejection, making us to conform to people’s attitudes and expectations.
  • Approval addicts wear different masks, they have a mark they wear at church, at home, at work and more masks depending on different people they meet.
  • They smile even when they don’t feel like smiling because they fear rejection.

I have a hard time saying “No.”

    • People-pleasers say “Yes” when they should have said “No.”
    • Approval addicts load their calendars and their lives with tasks that they hope will gain them approval from someone.
    • People-pleasers are like “stray dogs.” They run to the nearest and loudest source of approval.
    • People-pleasing might be good for a dog but surely it is not good for a human-being.
    • The whole philosophy behind prostitution is the whole idea of approval addiction.
    • When you are getting approval, you are on top of the world, but when you false disapproval, your world crumbles down!!
  • The Bible says, “Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe”-Prov. 29:25.
  • Pontius Pilate was a people-pleaser, he examined Jesus and found no fault in Him. He actually wanted to set Jesus free, but…………Mark 15:5.
  • If you feel or think you are an approval addict, ask the Lord to heal your disease to please, for there is a better way!!

WHOSE SLAVE ARE YOU? SEEK GOD’S APPROVAL NOT PEOPLE’S APPLAUSE.

    • The theme of the Book of Galatian’s is the freedom that we have in Christ, “UHURU WA YESU.”
    • If you devote your life to trying to please others you will find yourself enslaved to their opinions and approval.
  • In the (Message Bible) Galatian 1:10 says, “Do you think I speak this strongly in order to manipulate crowds? Or carry favor with God? Or get popular applause? If my goal was popularity, I wouldn’t bother being Christ’s slave.”
  • Jesus Christ told us in Matt. 6:24, “No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other.”
  • You and I don’t have the emotional energy to serve two masters.
  • So how do you make the choice to be a slave to God rather than the approval of people?
  • Here are two ways to begin:-

Serve God without any desire for recognition.

  • One way to escape the approval trap is to perform acts of service and kindness quietly and secretly so that there is no possibility of someone being impressed.
  • The Pharisees were consummate people-pleasers.
  • When they gave money to the poor, they would announce it with trumpets so everyone would see their generosity and give them approval.
  • Jesus advised us “Be careful not to do your acts of righteousness before men, to be seen by them, if you do you will have no reward from your Father in haven…….. but when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret will reward you”-Matt. 6:1-4.
  • If you seek the applause of people for your acts of goodness, that’s all the reward you will ever receive, and you forfeit the reward from God.
  • The happiest, healthiest christians are those who do things not to impress people, they do their good deeds for an audience of One (God).

Live as if the only opinion that matters is God’s opinion.

  • The judgement day is coming. We are not going to be judged by other people, we will stand before the judgement seat of Christ-1st Cor. 4:2-4; 2nd Cor. 5:10.
    • If you are going to choose to go through life trying to please people you will be frustrated.
    • You can never please everybody-please God through faith-Heb. 11:6.
    • You don’t please God by what you do, but by who you are. To God, to be is better than to do.
    • God made you not a human-doing but a human-being.
  • When Jesus Christ is on your life-you are pleasing to God-2nd Cor. 5:17-in Christ-Isaiah 49:16.
  • God is always thinking of you-Psalm 139:18.

CONCLUSION.

  • Serve God without any desire for recognition.
  • Live as if the only opinion that matters is God’s opinion of you.
  • God is the judge finally. God’s judgement of you is what counts in eternity.
  • I’d rather have Jesus than men’s applause.
  • Will you submit yourself to Jesus Christ your Savior? There is space at the cross today.
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Rev, DR. Willy Mutiso

Rev, Dr. Willy Mutiso is the Senior Pastor at First Baptist Athiriver. He is widely known for his practical and dynamic teaching style which helps people apply the timeless truths of Scripture to their everyday lives.

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